Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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