If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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