Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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