WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize