Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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