R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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