I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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