Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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