One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize