just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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