Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My pussy is not your playground.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
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So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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