Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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