he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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