dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
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I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
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He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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