You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize