How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize