I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize