I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
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No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
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Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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