with your own penis?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wish my penis had a tongue
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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