oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize