Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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