On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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