is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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