He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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