She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
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While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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