I wish my penis had an off switch
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize