Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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