how can u be prego again
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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