Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize