so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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