I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
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in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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