Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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