We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
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