I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize