I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
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I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
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All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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