we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
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I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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