This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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