It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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