I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i need some magic done to my vagina
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize