it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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