i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize