I wish you could order shots online.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize