Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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