I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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