it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize