yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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