and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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