i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize