Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize