Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
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Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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